Sweep You Across for a Penny, Ma'am
by Tom Furlong

One day, in the early days of television, I came home a little late, as usual, to find my whole family looking at television, supper having long since been finished. The program was a new one and was being touted as being something special. It was called TELEPOL and had as its host Boyce Frith, who later got into politics, I believe.

The props were expansive, backed up by a mural purporting to be a map of Canada. The host was in the process of wrapping up (in the jargon of the trade) the evening's business, and I had but a fleeting glimpse of the mural as the camera was beginning to zoom in on the handsome Mr. Frith, at this stage leaning casually on the desk in the piece. I asked how long this had been going on, since it was the first episode I had seen.

Our eldest piped up, "Three weeks, Dad."

"How come nobody said anything about the map?"

"It's what they call a stylized map," his brother contributed.

"Stylized or Byzantine," I said, "they don't have to leave Newfoundland off it. We've been in Confederation long enough now for even a jackass on the Prairies to know where we are. Obviously nobody has complained about this further slight to our existence. I guess I'll have to write a letter."

"You and your letters," from my wife, who is always at me about writing the president of this or that about something.

"It makes my blood boil," I said. "These fellows will tell you that a picture is worth a thousand words. That's the sort of picture that reinforces the Quebec fellows' contention that they own all the Labrador Peninsula."

The program was a quiz-type thing, and one of the questions that night was, "How many provinces are there?" I did not see it being asked, but the boys told me there were some "wonderful guesses."

So, I got out my typewriter and sent this letter to Mr. Frith.

M Boyc Frit

Telepol

Hos

Canadia Televisio Networ

42 Charle Stree Eas

Toront

Ontari

Canad

Dea Si,

        Th write sa you Telepol sho fo th firs tim las nigh. H beg to sugges tha anyon wh gav nin fo th answe t you questio abou th numbe o Province shoul ge ful mark. Th ma o th wal behin yo doe no sho Newfoundlan an thu coul b regarde a misleadin.

        I thi lette doe no mak sens-neithe doe a ma o Canad withou Newfoundlan.

        Sincerel your

        T.E. Furlong

"You're not going to send that!" exclaimed my spouse in double-distilled disgust. "They'll think you're nuts."

"No, they won't. They'll fix that map in double-quick time. If the mails are fast enough, it'll be done for Sunday." TELEPOL was a Sunday show.

Time, in its usual fashion, marched on and on, until Friday, when I picked up the phone in my office.

My wife greeted me with, "Well, they're not mad at you anyway."

"Who's not mad at me, anyway. And who are 'they'?"

"The CTV people."

"And why should they be mad at me?" I asked.

"Spence Cadwell sent you a telegram. Do you know him?"

"No," I admitted. "Who is he?"

"He's the president of CTV and this is what he said."

"BE SURE AND WATCH TELEPOL, LETTER FOLLOWS, REGARDS ... SPENCE CADWELL, PRESIDENT, CTV TELEVISION NETWORK."

"That's nice of him. I hope his letter says they have rectified their error."

We exchanged pleasantries, and when I got home there was general agreement that I was not daft and maybe, just maybe, we'd see a new map come Sunday.

When Sunday rolled around, "we were all seated around the campfire," so to speak, when Boyce Frith came on to apologize to the nation, and Newfoundland in particular, and tell all and sundry how chagrined they were at having been brought to book about the map, and how unfortunate it was that the show had to run for three weeks before somebody spotted the omission of Newfoundland. I was roundly applauded.

On Monday this letter arrived from Spence Cadwell:

CTV Television Network

42 Charles Street

Toronto 5

Ontario

Canada

Spence Cadwell

President

Mr. T.E. Furlong

24 Monkstown Road

St. John's

Newfoundland

Dear Mr. Furlong,

        I thought your letter was a scream and I think everyone here at the network read it and, also, it was the main topic at a recent TELEPOL meeting. On the upcoming show you will see that we mention your drawing this horrible error to our attention, and that we intend to correct the situation as soon as we can have the map redrawn.

        The artist certainly took a great deal of liberty and sometimes I wonder if it looks like Canada at all.

        After the wonderful times I have had with Don Jamieson and many good friends in Newfoundland, I was shocked that neither I nor anyone else noticed that we had left off that beautiful island province. We can't afford to lose Newfoundland. Thanks for drawing this to our attention. We receive thousands of letters, but usually folks don't go to the time or trouble that you did with your letter. It certainly paid off as I noticed that someone has posted it on our company bulletin board.

        Yours sincerely,

        Spence Cadwell

        els/

The moral of the story is that it pays to speak up.